Lily Elizabeth

Our first few days with Lily have been truly amazing. She is such a good baby and we love her to pieces. She simply must be ours forever!
Here are a few pictures so that you can see how cute she is!

Tuesday, August 2nd (1 month old)
Her first bath with us
Cute in purple
Wednesday, August 3rd
Her debut at Young Men's and Young Women's (everyone wanted to hold her)
Thursday, August 4th
Grandma, Heather, Dexter and Great Granny Ruth came and brought Abby back from playing at Grandma and Grandpa's house. Abby had the greatest time and still had more fun with them at our house.
Granny Ruth meets Lily. We decided to name her Lily Elizabeth and that is Ruth's middle name. She seemed overwhelmed when we told her and is very excited about it!
My girls and I!
Dexter and Abby in Lily's crib and playing in Abby's new blow up lion pool.
Tickled by Matt.
New fence went up around the pond! It's actually more clear than this--it looks so good in direct sunlight. You hardly know it is there.
My friend, Amanda Pitts brought us a wonderful dinner and dessert.
Thank you Amanda it was so delicious!
Friday, August 5th
Abby feeds Lily twice.
Lily ready for her visit with her birth parents (I don't like this part). Matt went to the temple with the youth, so it was just us girls the rest of the day.
During the visit Abby and I ran and errand and went to the park. First she scales the
wall and then says, "I did it!"
After we got home the girls we swam in the pool. Well, Lily let me put her feet in, but only for a moment--need to let the water warm up a bit!
This is how Lily often looks when she sleeps.
Oh how I love my girls!

A Comment on Race . . . and Lily

So for those who don't know, I'm white. I'm not caucasian because I have no ancestry from the caucus mountains of present-day Armenia and Georgia, but I understand that it is the box I'm supposed to check on forms. My problem with racial categorizations, and particularly the caucasian (or white) category, is that they presume all sorts of false generalities that are used to discriminate.

In 2001 sociologist Allan Johnson published his book, Privilege, Power, and Difference. I disagree with parts of the book, but Johnson does correctly identify many subtle social benefits of being white. On average, white people pay less than blacks for cars and per square foot of home, are less likely to be convicted with similar evidence, and as our new case worker explained to me this week, whites are less likely to have children taken from their home by social workers. White children are more likely to have positive role models of their own race, and, Allan notes, less likely to be shadowed by store clerks while shopping.

In an effort to combat this racism, many Americans support affirmative action type programs that turn the tables and favor non-whites for government contracts, educational admission, and other opportunities. Similar efforts are made to correct gender inequality as well. As a white male, I've faced quite a bit of institutional reverse discrimination. At times I've felt society overcompensated too much. I looked over Johnson's extensive lists of subtle benifits and found few that served me, but time and time again I saw where my identification as "white" limited my access and equality.

As a teen I grew up in an ethnically diverse suburb of Los Angeles. I was always "the white guy" and often suffered the exclusion that is typical of minorities in an a larger group, but made worse by the false assumption that I represented "the man". In fact, in graduate school some of my colleagues jokingly called me "the man" because I was the token white male (there was actually two of us) in a cohort of several dozen graduate students, and yet I somehow embodied the power structure (according to standard protest models).

As I completed my studies it also became obvious that as a white male I would simply be overlooked for most positions teaching Native American history. At conferences I attended many pseudo-academics asserted that by virtue of Indian ancestry they had access to some essential knowledge that could not be accessed by a white guy. This common racial essentialization is at direct odds with the very premise of academic inquiry (the notion that we can actually learn something), but that does not stop the growing ranks of pseudo-academics from endorsing racially exclusionary tactics that openly disadvantaged me.

This brings me to Lily. When the caseworkers offered us Lily they said we were selected because we were a good match. I was confused. Does Lily like college football? Has she longed for an older sister? How are we a good match? Surely there are other would-be foster parents in the system who would love a newborn baby, and they were probably already certified. We, on the other hand, had not done anything but fingerprints and still needed a home inspection (which is not up to code--a fence around our pond will be installed later today) and 12 hours of "training". Why did we get Lily? The answer surprised me - because we're white.

Apparently, there are lots of Mexican-American foster families but not many white families, and we were the only white folks (working with this particular agency) who could take in an infant right now. If we were not available they would have placed her with a Mexican-American family (in fact, the emergency foster home she briefly stayed with only spoke Spanish), but since were were available we jumped to the top of the list. Of course, this works both ways. They have very few white children--most are Mexican American--and so most of the time we'll be at the bottom of the list. It just happened that the caseworker's efforts to match race benefited us this time; most of the time it will be a disadvantage.

So, Allan Johnson, I have now seen a privilege that whiteness brings; however, don't be so foolish to think it whiteness brings only positive affects. I can still point to more discriminatory experiences based on my racial designation. Indeed, I can remember store clerks following me and I know what its like to be the odd man out, and to suffer an employment blockade because of my skin color. Perhaps one day we will actually achieve a "post-racial" American, but I don't know when.

Great Blessings

I am not caught up on with our past fun adventures, but we have news that needs to be shared! Yes--fantastic news!!!! Can you guess? A baby! We have a new beautiful baby. . . .

Recently we've had a few close calls with newborn babies and things just haven't worked out. But it has encouraged us to go in a different direction. We decided to look into a foster care agency called Legacy. We met with them and felt good about things. They are an independent agency, but also work through the county.
Thursday we headed to Vacaville to see my brother Kevin for his 30th birthday. We had a great time with them and I will post those pictures later. Friday in the later morning we received a call from the agency and they said they thought they had a baby for us. We could not believe it. We thought we might have to go straight back home, but then we found out that she would be placed with us on Monday at 2 p.m. To make a long story short, we came home Saturday evening and hit Wal-Mart and Target before coming home for some supplies we knew we did not have. Sunday we went to Church and afterwards did something we don't normally do on Sunday--lots of tiny laundry! We knew it was not possible to get everything done before Monday. While we got things ready Abby found her bug costume and obviously had fun chasing us around.
We also rearranged Abby's room so that both girls can sleep together. I will have to take one with the bedding all done--it's much cuter. This way we can still keep the playroom and guest room. We will see how it goes--although the new baby will sleep in our room for now.
That brings us to today! I found Abby a "big sister" shirt so she proudly put that on before the baby came.
Our home got certified at noon and two caseworkers were here when they first brought the baby in.
There are a lot of things we do not yet know and nothing is for sure in these situations, but we have already fallen in love with her. Here's what we know:
Born: July 2, 2011
Weight: 6 pounds something ounces
Birth parents want to name her Lillianna (spelling?) and we would like to honor that, but we think we will name her Lily. We have a few middle names and will decide soon.
Brown hair, blue eyes, currently weighs about 7 pounds
She is such a good baby--content, smiles, happy to have someone hold her or lay on her back and look around.
Just to clarify--Lily is a foster care child that we are praying, hoping, wishing to adopt.
First family picture
Both girls fell asleep on me--treasure the moment!
Lily's new car seat (she slept while we ate dinner)
Abby trying to be a baby again
Grandma and Grandpa Garrett, Heather and Dexter came up to see the new baby. Then they took Abby home with them so that they could put her and Dexter's hands in the cement being poured in their backyard tomorrow. That way Abby gets special attention while we help Lily feel comfortable in her new home. Problem is, I miss my Abby already!
All the grandkids!
Aunt Heather
Abby and Dexter playing
Sisters!We are so blessed. I have to pinch myself when I look at both girls to know that I am not dreaming. We've waited so very long for both of them and pray that everything will work out so that we can keep Lily. We are absolutely in love with her. Heavenly Father definitely has a plan and I must always remember to trust in Him. We can't wait for you all to meet Lily.